If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
