Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
