Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just had sex bonerless
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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