i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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