And the cops told us we were all naked.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize