Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
