Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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