I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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