I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
