she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize