You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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