That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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