Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
