Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
