She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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