**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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