If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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