he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
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I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
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Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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