i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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