why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
