the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
