so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
