i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
