Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Dick very happy bro
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
