butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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