my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
