Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
In America we eat man semen.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
