So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
