Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
