What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
