If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
