areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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