You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize