I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
