Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
