I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
