is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's blow job season.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
