at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
