i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
