im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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