super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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