Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
