i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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