he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize