Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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