Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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