If i come over, it means nothing
"it" just moved
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
