I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
