You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
