That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
