remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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