Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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