I like to think it a success when the cops are called
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
