quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
