PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
