I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Randomize
