so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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