she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
