I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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