Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
