Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you have to choose: penises or morals?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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