Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize