gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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