Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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