I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
